bidettoyousir

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Ruxin:
You know what? I have an idea.
Rafi:
Jerk off party?
Ruxin:
No.
Rafi:
Let's do this.
Ruxin:
No.
Rafi:
(unbuttoning pants) I like where this is going.
Ruxin:
Okay, put it away and just listen to me. What if you took Geoffrey to swim class?
Rafi:
Yes! Done! Obviously your kid needs a male role model. 'Cause I'll be honest with you, he's soft. Weak and soft.
Ruxin:
'Cause he's four.
Rafi:
'Cause he's your son.
Ruxin:
No.
Rafi:
You spend all your time reading books and looking at numbers and letters like they mean something.
Ruxin:
They do, do you know how to read?
Rafi:
I get by, alright?
Ruxin:
What do you know?
Rafi:
You know, like red means stop.
Ruxin:
Great
Rafi:
Green means go.
Ruxin:
Good.
Rafi:
Yellow's the other one.
Ruxin:
Do you want to do this with Geoffrey?
Rafi:
Yes! I'm telling you, I really want to.
Ruxin:
Okay, then you need to listen to these rules.
Rafi:
I'm listening!
Ruxin:
RED!
Rafi:
(pauses)
Ruxin:
Okay. Few rules: no smoking.
Rafi:
Cigarettes or drugs?
Ruxin:
Both.
Rafi:
Oh come on! How long does this class even last?
Ruxin:
Like an hour.
Rafi:
What?!
Ruxin:
Two: no swearing.
Rafi:
Oh shit on me.
Ruxin:
Three: no knives.
Rafi:
What if there's an attack?
Ruxin:
It's children and mothers in a pool.
Rafi:
That's exactly what I would attack.
Ruxin:
And here's the forth, and this is the most important, you need to pretend to be me. And that's our secret so that Sofia doesn't know.
Rafi:
Alright.
Ruxin:
You're pretending to be Rodney Ruxin.
Rafi:
Yeah.
Ruxin:
Do we have a deal?
Rafi. Yeah, deal. No wait, do you have a sister?
Ruxin:
Yeah.
Rafi:
I get to do her.
Ruxin:
She lives in Milwaukee, she's married to a dentist, and she's got IBS. So have at her.
Rafi:
Oh I will.